If you asked buyers, they'd say sellers always win their cases =P Worst case scenario here is that PayPal will ask the buyer to return the item for a full refund. If this happens, call and tell PayPal if the item arrives more damaged then when you sent it- they can cover for this situation.
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If you've paid with a debit card, PayPal are legally obligated to put it back onto the same card. When a refund is processed via a card, it takes the card issuer between 2-7 working days to get it back into your bank account. PayPal doesn't have any control over this process as it's with the banks. It sounds like this is what you're currently experiencing.
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This may be something that only PayPal can change, they're rather strict with names. I'd say just give them a call on 0800 358 7911 and see if they can change it for you.
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Is this on eBay? If so, you'll get an email with the information on what's been bought and where to send it to, a bit like the receipt the buyer will get. If this is on a website of your own, it's going to depend on how it's set up. 9 times out of 10 it should be the same.
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By sending a money request, you're using goods and services anyway- you can't send a request for a personal payment. As long as you send the item to the address provided via PayPal, and with tracking information (keep the receipt as well), you'll be fully covered by PayPal. So if he gives you an address different to the one on the PayPal transaction, don't use it!
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Monthly payment plans are part of the PayPal Credit service. They debit an amount on the same day every month. To pay this way, you'd need to be eligible for the service, so giving customer support a ring to see if you can get it set up is probably a good idea.
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If you click on the individual transactions in your Summary, it should expand to give you the full details on that transaction. If the merchant has said what the item is, it will sppear here- but not every merchant does.
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