i am an ebay seller and this is more suite for ebay. but what the seller is asking is not against ebay rules. I do the same thing. 5stars and positive feedback are a ridiculous system. if you get 100% positive feedback but low stars, you can actually lose your ability to sell. next there are a ton of scammers on ebay. it's a small percentage of the whole, but still there are likely 10s of thousands of them. When a seller gets a vague complaint it's hard not to get the idea you are being played. Shipping is preposted, and is allowed to take into consideration packaging costs, delivery, time, etc. It doesn't just include the ship cost. That's why anything AS SEEN ON TV charges a 'shipping and handling' charge. You have a right to be upset if you like. It's your money, but you agreed to the shipping when you bought it. So the solution. You have complained. The seller knows you may leave poor feedback because you are either a scammer using it as leverage or just an unhappy buyer. The seller has offered a solution., If you are happy with the solution then they are asking you leave 5 stars indicating that all the requirements of the auction were met including the refund amount and you are now happy with it. Leave the 5 stars then wait for the refund. Honest sellers, in this situation, vastly outnumber dishonest ones. BUT if they don't give you your refund here's what you do., Unfortunately, this is how scammers can steal on ebay. Put in a claim with paypal, 'item not as described'. Then put in the discount you agreed to. The seller with either pay for it, or you will have to send the product back (send with tracking if you do). Likely you will then get the refund. Don't try this, but that's all you have to do to get free money from sellers. Open an 'item not as described' case and make it up (dented, ripped, wrong colour, etc.) then ask for a discount or you will give neg feedback for sending not as described item (this too is ok in ebay)
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