^ Update to above. The closest I ever got to getting this resolved (IMHO) was talking to Executive Escalations. If anyone else runs into this issue, I'd suggest filing a complaint (not a review) on PayPal's BBB page and someone from that department will reach out to you: https://www.bbb.org/us/ca/san-jose/profile/payment-processing-services/paypal-inc-1216-210387
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