I put a call into PayPal yesterday and it took them a while to get back to me and explain the problem. As of yesterday their is a glitch in their system and people were having money immediately debited from their accounts even after using the Pay After Delivery feature. According to the Pay Pal rep I spoke with, the system would be down for as long as 48 hours and they were working on a fix. This was as of 5:45 pm EST last night. That's why the option isn't showing up when checking out on Ebay, Etsy and other indpendent retailers. I've tried to use the option a few times this morning and it doesn't appear to be fixed. Hold off on your purchases for a while would be my only suggestion. And no, Pay after Delivery is not an "Ebay Only" feature. It's used by 1000s of indepdent retailers and artists on BigCartel, indepedent record labels, etc.
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