Hello @nastymcnasty,
Welcome to the PayPal Community Forum! I can certainly understand how frustrating this kind of issue must be. I would first recommend you're downloading the right PayPal app as there is a personal and business mobile app. Since it looks like you have a Personal account, you wouldn't want to download the app titled "PayPal Business". I understand you've already tried redownloading the app, but have you tried deleting the app, power-cycling your mobile device, then trying to re-download it? If you have, you may want to reach out to your mobile carrier / phone provider to see what the issue may be. If they don't have any other options available, you may want to try using PayPal through your mobile browser or another device for now.
My apologies for the inconvenience this has caused,
- Jon K
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