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I am doing my utmost to keep this within submission guidelines.  It isn't easy because I am being driven to terminal distraction by PayPal's totally user-unfriendly website.  By not making it easy to speak to a human being for advice/explanation of things which don't neatly fall into a series of nice little online questions, PayPal itself is creating a hostile environment -  but then has the temerity to demand that people in this forum keep their tempers, use courteous language etc.  OK, having got that off my ample chest, how, PLEASE, in the name of sanity, do I get to speak to a living, breathing human being rather than a series of automated voice messages or on-screen options which don't cover my query at all?  In the olden days we used to be able to speak to helpful and knowledgeable people at PayPal, but now, well, it's impossible.  Clearly I'm not alone in my frustration, as evidenced by many people using more colourful language than mine!  Now, here's the thing:  when there is a telephone icon in any website contact options, by definition that inference presumes one can hammer out some numbers on a phone and end up speaking to a real person.   That's what that little icon, with a mouthpiece thingy at one end, and a listening thingy at the other, indicates.  To be unable to do so, and end up only in a lengthy, stab-in-the-dark exchange with an automated (and very annoying) man's voice is infuriating and leads to screaming anger, frustration and disgusting language unbecoming to a lady.  I would strongly suggest that the telephone icon is actually false and misleading and should be removed if there is no intention for it to lead to a real conversation.  PLEASE PROVIDE A CUSTOMER SUPPORT TELEPHONE NUMBER IMMEDIATELY.  Thank you in under-confident anticipation. 

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there is an 0800 number in the UK but don't bother. you just run into another robot