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I just want to downgrade my business account to a personal account. That's all.
I'm going crazy on this site, going in circles trying to message the help center only to get automated responses that do not help at all. And trying to get through by calling is a nightmare on it's own.
There is no automatic way to downgrade a business account to a personal account, you have to contact customer services and they will do that for you.
Click help / contact bottom left of Paypal pages for options available for your country.
Or have you considered contacting Customer Service via Facebook or Twitter?
You can send them a personal message from their facebook or twitter pages.
It's: https://www.facebook.com/PayPal and @AskPayPal for Twitter.
You could just close your business account (removing all subscriptions / financial info etc first) and open a personal one.