How can this happen? And how to proceed

[Wheresmyitem]

I recently sold an item, an international buyer bought it. After the sale completed i messaged the buyer and reminded him this will take a while to arrive as we are in different continents(me in Thailand, him in The US). No problem he says. So i pay a fortune for tracked shipping.

couple weeks later, item in transit all normal, he wants a refund. After a short wait (and contradictory messages ie wait 10 days then refund, if no update on tracking within 5 days ebay will refund him and penalize me..no straight answers to the problem) ebay tell me to refund him. I did so, but Thailand Post said the item "is not lost" it is probably delayed in US customs. I see from other items i ordered from the US recently that indeed things are tetting stuck for around a month in the US with no tracking update.

so, now Ebay customer service are ignoring me, and this $300 item is imminent to arrive at the buyers address(although the buyer has been refunded by me for item price plus expensive international postage) so he is no longer a buyer. I do not want him to get this item for free, that is clearly unfair at best, straight out fraud/stealing at worst. No help/advice from Ebay or Paypal.

before i make a police report, pls advise the best way to proceed here.many thanks 

[kernowlass]

@Wheresmyitem

A police report in your country is meaningless in another country.

If tracking shows the item as delivered to the buyer then email him and ask him if he will re-pay you.

[Wheresmyitem]

Thanks, i was thinking to contact his local police, in California. Not my local police in Thailand - who are as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike,

 your suggestion makes sense thank you, but im hesitant to rely on his "good faith" after his agitation for a refund at the first possible moment showed he was not acting fairly

[DPCreations]

The buyer did not do anything illegal.  eBay is only following it's policies.

There are serious risks with slow international shipping.  Customers don't like to wait too long eBays doesn't want buyers to wait too long, either.

You can't control what the buyer does if the item does arrive after the forced refund.   You could send an invoice to the buyer and ask for payment, but highy unlikely the buyer would send a gift.

In future, make some changes in your international shipments such as using a shipping service with expected delivery within 2 weeks, including customs passage.  That would make a significant reduction in your risk of non-delivery or late delivery.  You should also re-evaluate your international shipping to make a better determination of the amount of risk you are willing to accept.

[Wheresmyitem]

Thank you for the reply. You make perfect sense. I will never sell any item over $25 on Ebay again. This saddens me as a 15 yr member. Back in the day I regularly sold items internationally for over $10,000 without issue. That was back when you could leave feedback for buyers. Seemed it kept things more honest and fair.

 Im still refusing to give this guy an expensive gift. If there was only a way to force him to donate it to a charity shop or something, rather than keep itbhimself

[Whac-A-Mole]

You said after a few weeks,the buyer wants a refund,and days gone and finally Ebay asked you to refund.

This is a long delay for most shipments,and most buyers are not interested in long delay.

In the future,you have to find a faster way to ship or do not sell to overseas buyer if there is a chance it would be stuck in customs.

[Whac-A-Mole]

notice when you list an item on Ebay,you will specify domestic and intl shipping,there is an estimated delivery date,this is provided by Ebay based on the kind of shipping you specify.

Many Chinese sellers provide slow economy shipping and the estimated date of delivery could be 30 days or more.

This is helpful when a buyer files item not received as EBAY will throw up a message saying it is too early to file ,wait till after estimated delivery date.

In your case,did the buyer file before or after this estimated deliver date,?it sound like a few weeks have gone by and then another weel or so haggering back and forth,which makes it what one month?

If you are selling a $300 item,by all means ask for enough shipping to ship expedited,no one wants to wait a month for a $300 item.

and you dont even have insurance?